Analiza: Hi, I'm Analiza Quiroz Wolf, proud Asian-American, mama of two kiddos. I went from being a burned out mama to being a Boss Mama, being a boss at work home, and play. I'm on a mission to help more women be Boss Mamas. If you want to thrive at work without sacrificing family or self care, you are in the right place. For detailed show notes, go to analizawolf.com/podcast and be sure to subscribe because I send out the best secrets I learn from my guests to my email subscribers. Now let's get into today's show.

On a scale of 1 to 10, how strong is your community?

In this episode, Analiza talks with Erica Blob, COO and Partner at Brighton Park Capital. Erica graduated with her BA from Duke and MBA from Harvard Business School. Erica shares her experiences in the male dominated industry of finance. Erica worked at Merrill Lynch, Morgan Stanley, SAC, New Mountain Capital, and now at Brighton Park Capital.

In Boss Mamas, we talk about the importance of building a strong community. Erica is a great example of this. She shares how even as a busy mom leader, she prioritizes time with her tribe of female friends. Erica shares specific strategies of how she makes space for this and how sharing information has helped disrupt some of the inequities she has faced like championing better salaries.

I’m excited for you to meet this Boss Mama!

All right, Erica, I have to kick off our conversation with your Instagram name. Tell us what this name is. And what is it all about?

Erica: So my instagram handle is yesisaidblob, B-L-O-B. So yesisaidblob. And the story behind it is that when I was growing up, my maiden name is Keny. And it's spelled KENY. And so I was constantly correcting people who thought it was Kirani Kearney Keaney, and got so frustrated that I just was looking for the day that I met my future husband and could change my name and be Erica Smith or something like that. I think it's a real lesson in life that you should be very careful what you wish for. Because my husband's last name is Blob. And about a week after I never really thought about it. And actually it's very funny because we were friends before we started dating. And so I used to call him Blob, not John. But about a week after I got engaged. I went to the Milken conference in LA. And I was at dinner and met somebody who thought that my fiance's last name was one of the funniest things he had ever heard. And then he pointed out though, that it was very memorable. And I hadn't spent much time thinking about it, was it going to take Blob? Was I gonna keep Keny. But he just kept insisting that this last name was great. And so about a month later, I was at another conference for work. And I was in one of those giant cocktail party ballroom situations. And across the room, I hear someone shout, hey, Erica Blob, and it was the guy that I had met a few weeks before. And so at that moment, a light bulb really went off in my head that not only was I definitely going to take my husband's last name, that I was going to really embrace it and own it and incorporate it into my life. And so my instagram handle is a reflection of that and a reference to every time I tell anyone at a shop or a restaurant, what my last name is, you say make a reservation for 4 for Blob. The reaction on the other line is always I'm sorry. And then you have to say Yes, I said Blob, and people really don't want to believe it. But again, you got to own it. But there's a couple of great things about having the last name Blob, one, you really have to focus on your physical fitness, because you really do not want to become a big fat blob. And too whenever I hear somebody who has that last name, which almost never happens, but when I do hear someone has that last name, I know that they somehow must be related to my husband's family. So here in the town that I live in, I actually met this great woman and have become friendly with her, because I was in a store one day, and I was giving my last name for their customer file. And they asked me to specify which Blob and I was in shock. And I quickly found out there was another Blob in our town and insisted on meeting her for coffee. And she's an incredibly impressive, accomplished woman. So there are some benefits to being a Blob.

Analiza: It feels like a show, I feel like I would watch a show called the Blobs and all the characters, meet the Blobs. Yes, yes. So that's pretty fun story. And it's interesting, because your identity of having name. Because there's something behind a name? Absolutely. How does that impact this career that you've had in thinking of the path that you took? And did you feel like this dream that you had wanting to meet someone and have a Smith. Did you also have a dream of wanting to be in this career path really dominated by males?

Erica: It's actually interesting. Speaking of names, so my middle name is my mother's maiden name, Simmons. And that is also the name of the company that my grandfather founded, of all the names sort of in my life, that's actually the one that sort of has the most significance, very close to my grandfather growing up, he started this company. And when I was a child, my assumption was that someday I was going to grow up and become the CEO of the company. And so it's ironic now that actually, that middle name isn't really much of a part of my life anymore, and I don't run the company. But I think that mindset also really came from my mom was a CPA in the 70s. And she had her MBA from Babson. And that had a really big influence on me. And one of the stories that she used to tell me growing up was about how when she was an undergraduate, she and a couple of her female friends who were studying accounting, decided to start the Women's Business Network at their college, there was a Men's Business Network, but there was not a Women's Business Network. And they decided to start the group and they couldn't find a space to hold the meetings. And so my mom and her colleagues got very creative, and decided to have a launch party for the new women's business network at school. And so they decided to invite the Chancellor of the University to their new space. And he showed up, he said, Absolutely, I'm going to come support the Women's Business Network. They bought cookies and punch and things like that. And they decorated the outside of the door to the room where the event was going to be held at Women's Business Network. And the chancellor showed up and they welcomed him and they open the door and he walked in, and he was inside the men's bathroom. And so they said, look, we asked for space for this, and you didn't give us some so we got creative, and we decided to create our own space. And needless to say, the Women's Business Network very quickly got their own space on campus. So that's the kind of influence I had in my life for my mom. So she was a CPA. She worked at Arthur Andersen. When I was a kid, I always was raised with the mindset that just because something was for boys didn't mean that I should have it. My mom actually coached my T ball team growing up, which was I think, eight boys and three girls and the three girls were my mom's two best friends daughters and I had a red and black BMX dirt bike when I was six or seven, I played with GI Joes. I always was drawn to sort of the boys toys and didn't really think much about it. I loved sports. When I was growing up in high school, I had a really great group of guy friends. And at the time, I was actually probably much more close to my guy friends than I was to my girlfriends. And in part, I think it's because I'm a big sports fan. You know, I grew up in Boston. So I'm a huge Red Sox fan. I'm a huge Patriots fan. I love to play fantasy football. As a middle schooler as a high school, I was never really into the super girly things, which now I've definitely embraced those things. But that came to me pretty late in life. As I mentioned, we had a family business growing up that my grandfather had started. And I never really spent time thinking about what I wanted to be when I grew up, because I just thought I was going to be the CEO of that business. And it never occurred to me that that was like a gender specific job. Just you could be the CEO and run the business. And I think that it formed a lot of where I am today, because my default assumption was that I was supposed to go get an MBA because that's what people who are in business do. Although I'll admit, secretly, I really truly wanted to be the shortstop for the Boston Red Sox and I actually wrote my business school essay, if things didn't work out. Harvard. That's what I was gonna go try to do.

Analiza: That's awesome. I love that story about your mom. Because, gosh, the guts to have this. If we had a phone back then videotape that, it would have gone viral with the urinals.

Erica: I know I can only imagine today what that there'd be Tiktok's and things like that. Yeah, she also drove a motorcycle as well. Wow, great influence on me. And she was incredibly supportive of me. Throughout my life. And my entire career, I was a competitive horseback rider growing up, and she traveled all over the country and all over the world with me to support that. And so never again my entire life, I always thought that I could do whatever I wanted to do. There was never any doubt that if I put my mind to something, I could do it. So I'm really grateful to my mom for giving me that.

Analiza: Thanks, moms. So let's fast forward. Now you with your BMX bike, Joe's and your sports wanting to play shortstop for the Red Sox. And so you're in this industry that is very much dominated by males, and not just people, but it comes with a culture. So I'm curious, because you've absolutely grown in your career. And in the senior position, can you reflect for us? What did it look like when you first arrived? And then what does it look like, as a female now, for you?

Erica: I work in the private equity industry. And so in the early days of my career, as many people who work in private equity do, I started out working in an investment bank. And in talking to a number of other women in my networks today, and we all started working in banks or in consulting roles. It's really interesting, because when we were 2021 22, we had a vague idea that what we were doing is you're entering a male dominated environment. I mean, as an econ major at Duke, I was in the minority, but I wasn't one of one or two people, there were certainly a number of women, but it was far fewer than the men. We just said, okay, great, well, I'm going to go work at an investment bank, that's fine. In the first few years in the analyst program, you know, I really did not notice anything related to gender and equity. You know, I worked with really incredible, powerful female who to this day are great influences on my life. But it became much more apparent to me and to all of us all my friends who I've talked to about this. But the more senior we got, the more we became when we went from associates to VPS. And from VPS, to principals or directors, that's where we really started to encounter the gender inequity, or just the big differences became much more apparent. One of the big sort of challenges in working in a male dominated environment is making sure you can find your authentic voice. And I think you have to do a lot of sort of experimenting about what feels right for you. So the way that you present your arguments, or even have conversations in the hallway with your male employees, really does make a big difference in how you're perceived and treated. And I think in the beginning, I tended to be very quiet, and assumed that people would be able to just know what the quality of my work as I was doing. And some of that mentality because it always worked for me in the past, I'd taken tests and scored really highly on tests, and college is among the top of my class. And that was all based on, you know, written tests and papers. But in the workplace, it's very different, right? People don't know what you're working on, unless you've talked to them about it. And so you really need to speak up to be seen by so I really struggled with that for a while. And I think one of the big differences is that, or at least for me, personally, is that you have to push yourself to speak when you don't have 110% of all the facts. A lot of women and me in particular, find that like you want to make sure you are certain about what you're talking about before you open your mouth. In business school. I wouldn't speak unless I was certain I knew what the answer was. And then what would happen is I'd wait too long, because in my head, I was going back and forth. You know, was I right or wrong? Had I not considered something? And then someone raise their hand and answer the question and it was exactly what I was thinking in my head and I had just completely missed my opportunity. And I found that was incredibly frustrating experience. And so that really shaped me because I think that if I had just been a little bit more confident I would have been able to really get a lot more out of the experience. I mean, I got an incredible thing out of this experience, but I think it really taught me that it's okay to take risks, it's okay to be wrong. And so today, I take a lot more risks in offering opinions or my gut instinct on something, I try to be fact based. But while I'm wrong, often, I think I can attribute a lot more because I speak up. And many times, it's because I have a different perspective or a different view, because of my gender, or because of my life experience, or because of the area, the firm that I represent. And so I think the best decisions get made when people with different backgrounds and different perspectives contribute to the dialogue. And you can only have that type of conversation if you're willing to speak up.

Analiza: Oh, my gosh, Erica, I have had the same experience. So glad you're sharing yours. And I actually didn't even know that it was common to doubt yourself. And this idea of creating the perfect response and making sure that it was airtight and practicing it, I would practice mine in my head to say, Okay, how would I respond? Here's one of my points would be, and by the time I could put it all together and check, check, check. It's like, several comments in and I missed the moment.

Erica: Yeah. And it's just any moment becomes too fraught. I mean, it's definitely an example, the saying, perfect is the enemy of good, right.

Analiza: And it's fascinating, too, because I had to tell myself to get over the strategy. I'd love to hear yours. But my strategy was to say right out of the gate, said, like, be the first to talk because then I mean, you can do all the loose, easy layups, because it's the beginning of the conversation to make sure I talked, and I would tell myself, you're not walking out this class, until you've got three comments in. And there's a lot of a type A people who are jockeying for that position. So I would immediately work who's the main character? I'm like, I know the main character. Here you go. Once done.

Erica: What's the name of the book? I got it. I got it.

Analiza: Right. Right, exactly. And so what was your strategy to be able to start speaking up? Because it's easier to say that and now you do it often? And what were you doing to get yourself on the court.

Erica: And it's funny, because the ironic thing is, I have ended up a huge part of my job is communicating with our investors. So I've actually gone sort of to the other day, my job actually involves a lot of public speaking. So I've sort of, I guess, you sort of take on the things that scare you, but I'm a lot more comfortable in it now. But you have to identify where you can have easy wins. So a little bit of what you were saying, which is, you know, I'll say okay, I absolutely know that this is true. And sometimes people don't say things because they think they're very obvious. But then someone else will say them. So I try to say, Okay, well, here's something that's part of the discussion that I feel like, it's completely obvious. I know this is true. And if you can start off the bat with that, then you've already opened your mouth. And then it just becomes and then someone says, oh, yeah, that's, you know, you're right about that, or good point. And then once you hear a good point, then you're like, Alright, now I can sort of try out some of these other points, which may not be good, but you can put it out there, for sure.

Analiza: Love it. So let's talk some more and go deeper here, Erica, because while you started talking and feeling more comfortable speaking up, and people now are paying attention, there's also real inequity as a woman. So can you share an example or a time when you experience discrimination because of being female?

Erica: Yeah, absolutely. Yeah. On the one hand, I have had a great experience I've worked with, I've had some incredible male mentors and colleagues. And so I would say, by and large, I wouldn't be in this industry if I didn't love the people that I work with, and love their competitive drive and deal making capabilities. But one of the things I learned when I was in my early 30s, is that men share a lot more information about their compensation than women do. And sometimes that's because there aren't other women to share information with. But I remember having a conversation with a firm I used to work with, and it was like the day after bonus day or something like that. I was chatting with a friend of mine who's a male colleague, and he like rattled off, whatever else had gotten in there bonus items, like shocked that that conversation had occurred. And I had a friend in my industry who works at a different company, who's a little bit older than I was, and she was incredibly she was looking for a new job and she and I were chatting and she was incredibly transparent with me about what she was currently being paid with this new job was being offered. Why she thought, This was too low or that, and they made me realize that I was not being compensated as I should be. But I had no way of fixing that until I knew what the data was. And so I think there's a lot of conversations around women gender pay gap disparity. And I think a lot of it does come from the fact that men talk about it a lot more. And so if they find out, someone else is getting paid something, they have the ability to walk into the office and demand to be paid equally, when I realized that in my early 30s, I really made a practice of encouraging or younger women that I work with, and myself and my friends to really be a lot more transparent. And that doesn't mean saying, like, Hey, this is my annual salary. And this is that, but really just thinking about contacts and scales and ranges and references to other companies. And so today, I have a really great sounding board of a few very close girlfriends that I went to Harvard business school with, and we're very open about discussing someone is looking for a new role, what the pay package is, and if the other ones think that that's not right, then we will go in and help give suggestions of what we think that you should negotiate for, and sort of then provide that sort of like, Alright, you got this, like, you should go in and ask for XYZ. And I think it's been really powerful. Again, as I talk to younger women in our industry, my industry, I encourage them to do the same thing.

Analiza: What do you think holds women back from sharing and being so open about money?

Erica: I think for a period of time, it was probably not having enough people like peers in the room to have a comparison do. And I also think some of it just sort of goes to like old fashioned out of date concepts that do sort of men are louder and more vocal and women are quiet and should just sort of sit there and be happy to be getting paid if and, you know, and again, I don't think none of the organizations that I've worked at have felt that way. I have really treated women that way. But I think that could be deep rooted in that. I think sometimes it's just a numbers game.

Analiza: Yeah, I agree. I think there is society saying, Erica, I mean, you're greedy. If you're talking about money. Analiza, you know, why are you asking for more, aren't you grateful that you have that job. And that's not a good woman or good leader to be so greedy. And think about yourself. So I'm glad that we're talking about it, because the way to get to equity is to name it. And when we have information, then we can address it. But if we're not be willing to talk about it, it's really hard to get to equity.

Erica: Yeah, actually, that made me think of another story. When I was earlier in my career, I got hired to do a job. And at that point, I had found out some more data on compensation. And I used that data to negotiate my entry package at my firm. And it was materially different than what I had originally been offered. And really, interestingly, the entire time that I worked for the organization, the person that I was negotiating with, would bring up the fact that I had negotiated so hard just in conversation in front of other people, and never really let me hear the end of it, which was a very off putting experience considering that like, the data that I was presenting was like, totally just market compensation. So. So I think that's also why people are afraid to do it, right, like you don't want to negotiate things. Some people don't want to negotiate because they're worried about how they'll be viewed after the fact.

Analiza: Yeah, at the same time, Erica, we know that I've been working in talent development for many, many, many years. And it's really gendered males will fight, negotiate, stick to their guns with getting their money, and then women will just take the first offer. It's like, wow, they never even negotiated past that one. So it's real. Yeah, definitely. So I want to go deeper into community because that's something in our conversations that has been really unique and powerful. Just how you've developed mindfully a community, especially as a mom, how have you developed this community knowing that back in the day used to be more surrounded by males and in your work surrounded by males? What has community meant to you? Have you made time for it as a mom? What does that look like?

Erica: That's actually one thing that has really changed in my life today. Overwhelmingly, my friends are all female male friends, but sort of my deepest connections are with my female friends, and I think I sort of have different groups of friends for different purposes and different needs that I have sort of self care. And myself, I have the group of girlfriends I have from business school, who spent a lot of time talking about some of the issues we've been talking about today. And we grapple with similar issues about sort of work life balance and raising children as working moms and those types of issues. And I've also built a fantastic community of women here in the town that I live in, who really support each other and lift each other up and pick up each other's kids when they need to, are always great for a girls night out are sort of stress relief, and really enjoy that. Because then I can sort of not think about sort of, you know, my business life and really spend time with these girls. And there's a lot of sort of community engagement with them, and charitable work as well. So that's really fun. And then I have another group of people, I really, because as you probably can tell over the course of the conversation, I'm incredibly competitive human being, I need an outlet for that. So I run a lot, I run marathons. And so I have another group of people who like to do that, and like to talk about that. So I think you build community by finding pockets of people who sort of really sort of touch upon different facets of your life and provide you support or outlets for that. And you know, I just feel really lucky to have the people I do in my life. And then I still have my high school friends, I actually have a great text messaging chain with three of my high school friends that touches everything from the latest in pop culture to how Mack Jones is doing on the Patriots, so that we talk every single day.

Analiza: It's so wonderful, how much you care about community and how much it fills your bucket and invest in your community. And I'm curious because you have a big job, and you have a family, young kids, how do you make space for this community? What do you say to people who are like that? It seems like you've got to sacrifice like your family to spend time with other people.

Erica: People who say that also probably get their energy from different sources or find relaxation in different sources, like my husband, very much recharges and relaxes. Through actually, he plays golf, but also he likes to sort of physically relax watching TV or you know, sort of being by himself and being calm, I'm very much the opposite. Like, for me, I get rejuvenated by being around people and laughing and joking and doing silly things. I think at times something can look like I have a very hectic schedule. But if you look at the pockets of it, like dinner with my girlfriends that I've squeezed in on a Thursday night, between seven and nine, and then have to go back to doing something for work like that really is my time off. But that said, you know, there's some other strategies I have too, as well. One is, you know, we have a lot of childcare. And we have someone who lives in our house as an au pair, which I would not be able to do half of what I do without that. We have someone who helps us on the weekend as well. And that's sort of newer to our lives. Because my husband and I were finding that we were spending our entire weekends, cleaning up spilled milk, doing laundry, doing administrative tasks, and we weren't able to really spend time engaged with our kids, this might be a temporary period of life or where everything feels this crazy, but it's okay to ask for help. And to have someone come in and sort of take some of that off of our shoulders. And so we've done that. And I'm also a huge fan of exercise. I'm not a morning person, but I will get up very early hours to get my run in and just have to do that. And I'm a big believer in sort of self care and massages, things like that. But I will not get a manicure, I get pedicures, those things take too much time and you can't do anything while you're doing them.

Analiza: I think it's so interesting, Erica, that it's by knowing yourself, you know that you really get a high off spending time with people, you know that you value taking care of yourself, especially working out and then that there are things that you like doing and like less doing. And so how do you create a life where you can max out those things that you enjoy in your element? And then if you can and have the financial resources, outsource those other things So, I love that. And I love that you also mentioned that it doesn't look the same not everyone needs to have, I think you'd have like three groups or maybe four groups, kind of your high school friends, where you invest time that it could look different, maybe less groups or no groups if you're tend to be solitary, more like your husband, who just likes to be alone. So I love that I appreciate you sharing and knowing that people are in different places.

Erica: Yeah, you know, there are some negatives to sort of my version of relaxation, which is if I go sort of for too long of a period of time, sort of burning the candle on both ends, as they say, like, eventually I crash. And I'm prone to sort of getting sick for 24 hour periods. And that's usually a good check in that I need to slow down a little bit. But I wish I could do yoga. I've tried to meditate. I actually get a lot of meditation. I think when I'm running, those are life goals. My sister in law is a yogi, but I do not possess that ability at all.

Analiza: Although it says Zen and running, I mean runner's high. It's a real thing, though. I find your element could be knitting, like I was talking about. She's like, I love knitting. And I tried it and I can see why it's so meditative because you're doing the same task. And you're in flow. So to each our own right, I love that you found yours. And there's no need to like be a yogi.

Erica: Yeah, I also love to take walks. Taking a walk is so wonderful. Just kind of slow down. Look around you.

Analiza: Yes. All right, let's do lightning round questions. Chocolate or vanilla ?

Erica: So I'm going to take vanilla with chocolate chips. My favorite kind of ice cream so you gotta have a little boat can I was kind of like my life. I need all sorts of things. I can't have one of anything.

Analiza: Cooking or takeout?

Erica: Takeout.

Analiza: Oh, wow. It's like you're gonna combine this too.

Erica: Yeah, no, always take out. Oh, I tried those every time I even tried those the green chefs and I can't just take out.

Analiza: Climb a mountain or a jump from a plane?

Erica: This is actually, this is one of my life regrets. When I was in my early 20s. I really wanted to jump from a plane. I love roller coasters. So I love that sort of pit in the feeling in your stomach. And I bought my college roommate for her birthday, a ticket so that both of us could go jump out of a plane. And it was a couple of days before September 11. So we didn't end up doing it. And now that I have kids, it just isn't a decision I'm comfortable with but I really regret not doing it.

Analiza: Have you ever worn socks with sandals?

Erica: Only to walk the dog.

Analiza: How would you rate your karaoke skills on a scale of one to 10 and 10 being Mariah Carey?

Erica: I'm a negative 10. I am tone deaf completely. But I actually love singing and I love karaoke so much that I just don't care. I will do it, and everyone else around me is gonna have to suffer.

Analiza: What's a recent book that you've read?

Erica: I just finished reading ``It's better to be feared” by Seth Wickersham, which is a great book about the New England Patriots dynasty.

Analiza: What's your favorite way to practice self care?

Erica: This will not be surprising, but I'm drinking margaritas with my girlfriends.

Analiza: What's a good professional development that you've participated in?

Erica: I think the truly best things I've done have all been, you know, really one on one coaching type sessions and mentorships. We met each other through YPO. I think that's been so far really great program for professional development. But I really love one-on one coaching with qualified coaches. My sister's actually an executive coach. So I'm really lucky, I get a lot of free coaching.

Analiza: What's your definition of a Boss Mama?

Erica: I think a Boss Mama is really just someone out there who's making a work one day one activity at a time. But she's someone who is supporting other women while she's doing that never cutting them down. So a Boss Mama could be a CEO or could be a stay at home mom who is just really crushing it and taking great care of her children. But it's really about just being in there and being supportive of the sisterhood.

Analiza: What advice would you give your younger self?

Erica: Ask for help. But I think if I look back at every mistake I've ever made, it's because I was too worried about asking for help.

Analiza: Where can we find you like LinkedIn?

Erica: I'm on LinkedIn or a couple of, I don't use Facebook anymore but Instagram is definitely a guilty pleasure of mine. So yesisaidblob is my instagram handle I've got one for my dog now as to as well but yesisaidblob is my guilty pleasure and if you like the bachelor I often commentate on as well, another guilty pleasure.

Analiza: Okay, last question. Do you have final ask recommendations or any parting thoughts for the audience?

Erica: I think it's just every experience is another milestone on your journey. And if I look at how my career progressed, when I was 17, I never thought I would be doing the job that I'm doing today. And I think that there are some times where I failed exceptionally but I learned something from it. And it turned my career and move my career in a different direction and allowed me to get to where I am today. So I think you just have to sort of look at every sort of victory, every mistake is part of a much bigger progression towards where you're ultimately supposed to be.

Analiza: Awesome. Thank you so much, Erica. I really enjoyed the conversation.

Erica: So great speaking with you. Thanks.

Analiza: Thank you so much for carving out time today to hear today's podcast. Three things before you go. First, if you found it helpful, please leave a five star review. Second, please share with someone else you can share the link and posts on Facebook and say check it out. Lastly, I want to thank you for being a listener and you can go to get a free self care bonus called juice your joy at Analiza wolf.com/freebonus. Thank you so much.