Analiza: Welcome to the Women of Color Rise Podcast. I'm Analiza Quiroz Wolf, proud Filipina American mom of two, and former CEO of a nonprofit and Captain in the US Air Force. I'm on a mission to support having more diverse leaders at the table. We'll be talking with successful CEOs and C suite women leaders of color and learning about their leadership journeys. If you're a woman or woman of color, who wants a seat at the table, you're in the right place. Now let's get into today's show.

Hi, everyone, I'm thrilled to be talking with our Arshiya Kherani today. She and I have a shared passion for storytelling. Arshiya has a varied background, digital social media housing, so many different things, even her own business. The thing that I find her incredibly captivating, and I think will add so much value to us is her gift of storytelling. She's the co-founder of Potluck Stories. It's an LA community based organization. And it's all about lifting up marginalized voices.

Arshiya, before we start, I just wanted to talk a little bit about storytelling. And I'd love to hear your view as well. For me, storytelling is a way that we can bring people along in our journeys so that even as much as we might think we have a lot of difference, there's not much that we can find where we can have some shared relationship stories, I feel like we’re unifying and for people who often don't have our voices heard or marginalized communities, I personally find stories a way of being seen feeling like there are other people out there who have stories similar to mine. And then for people who are different from me being able to connect to them and say, Wow, even though I at first thought we didn't have much in common. In fact, there's so much that I'd love to connect with you. It's a heart to heart connection. And so Arshiya you probably know, because of this passion, I've been able to write. I know you care a lot about stories. And so that's really the impetus for these children's books that I've done, starting with Asian Americans Who Inspire Us. And then now this book about The Myths of Success: A Woman of Color’s Guide to Leadership.

And so I'm thrilled, Arshiya, to have you here with your background to dive really deep into storytelling and the art of it. But before we go into storytelling, let me ask a question, or just launch us off. Talk about your identity, and how that has shaped your path, leading to being a storyteller and co-founder of this really beautiful nonprofit.

Arshiya: Yeah, well, thank you so much for having me Analiza I. That's why I was really drawn to your work as well, because you are somebody who tells stories and uplift stories that make me feel seen and heard and connected as a woman of color in the corporate world and America, when you ask about identity for me, if any of you are watching this as opposed to listening, you can see that I cover my hair. So I am a Muslim woman who wears a hijab, and I started wearing a job when I was 19 years old. And I remember when I grew up in a Muslim family, and no one in my immediate family actually wears hijab. And when I started wearing hijab, I remember my dad was like, You're never gonna get a job. And he said that actually, when I had like, pierced my nose actually looked like a couple years earlier. And to me, it's so even that is so interesting, because my parents are immigrants to America, they moved here from India, and they raised us to be Muslim, they raised us to honor our culture, and everyone in my dad's family has a nose ring, but for him in America, he was like you're not employed, or you start wearing hijab, you're not employable, because you stand out too much. And so I think for me, identity from very early, like, even before that growing up, but like, I think even just these two things were really kind of pivotal moments where I didn't know how deeply I was choosing to tell the story of my identity for the rest of my life, like very publicly. And I think for me, specifically wearing a job has forced me to be a storyteller. You know, for a lot of people in my life, especially professionally, I am the only Muslim they know I am the only hijab wearing Muslim that they know and so a lot of what they hear on the media and the news is challenged by my entire existence, and just standing in front of them of like, what they think they know about people like me versus interacting with people like me, so I think for me, like telling that story of your identity can be physical. And as you grow older, you kind of learn how to then tell that story through words. And through just like an actual story, you craft that story based on your experience of, hey, like when I say this people, right, like it really, if people can connect, or when I say this, it doesn't quite resonate, right. So you're constantly refining the way that you tell your personal story with every passing day,

Analiza: Arshiya, I was reflecting for myself, I actually don't even know a lot of Muslim women who are hijab wearing. Like, even my community, I mean, my no one or two, but it is important to actually note that the thing that's so obvious, we don't actually say you're the first person, you're the second person, you're one of the few people. And that is, I think, an opportunity, but also carries a weight, right? There's a real weight, especially with what's going on in the world, or history. These tensions, it's one thing if they're there thought, wow, this person is the chair of absolutely, you know, they represent all good things, all powerful, abundant things. And another thing when you're trying to be respectful of your culture, while also trying to be an individual, I know for me are Shia as a Filipina, right, trying to be a good Asian, the stereotype of let's be obedient. Let's go along to get along. Let's be smiley, cheery, good at math, all of those things. Help, right, all the things. And yet I'm also other things too. And in some ways, I've kind of leaned into going more toward those things that I ran a bunch of marathons, or I go into these big adventures. And so it's weird because I think because I was so stereotyped, I felt like I had to unbox and get to have some new things to say about myself so that I could break stereotypes. And so I use it as an invitation for you Arshiya because it's a lot of pressure. Yeah, it's a beautiful opportunity yet also pressure. I wonder how Arshiya, have you mentioned that earlier? How has your story evolved? As you may have leaned one way, you're just like me, I don't want to explain my culture. Explain a little bit of my culture, like, how have you bounced that? How has your story evolved?

Arshiya: Well, I'll tell a little story because it is just even just what you said is like, you know, a lot of people, they just, they see me, and they associate me with something. And for the most part, I think I see it as an opportunity. And it was really funny, because I was working in digital marketing, I was working at a digital marketing agency in the E commerce space for a couple of years. And I didn't know it at the time, but like E commerce and E commerce marketing are like very white male driven industries. And my agency was not different from that, especially when I joined, they were kind of just ramping up their DEI initiatives. And I remember I was at a conference, a digital marketing conference in Los Angeles. And like, within 20 minutes of getting there, you know, it was kind of like the breakfast mixer read part. And this person came up to me and was like, Hey, I know you and I was like, really don't know. Yeah, I know. And they were like, you work at Twitter. And I was like, No, I don't work at Twitter. And she was like, oh, like, there's somebody on Twitter who like wraps their hair exactly like how you do. And I thought it was such a funny thing. Because I honestly, like, it was rare to even meet brown women of color in my industry. And so I was like, there's probably only one hijabi at Twitter, in LA who wears her hijab like this, right? But it's so funny because like to that person, like, there's even an unconscious noticing of like, there are not that many people who look like this in this industry. And so it must be the same person, you know, and it was so funny, because I remember I like went on LinkedIn later. And I like literally, like found this person. And then there's like one degree of separation because we are we're brown or Muslim. Like we're a pretty connected community. Right. And so I think it's like, it is funny, because it's exactly what you said that like we're very memorable.

And sometimes there's this pressure to be exactly what you describe, like the model minority, right? Like these, like, you might think this one Muslim woman, so I'm gonna overcompensate and be this instead to like, break your idea of what a Muslim woman should be. And I think like, it does feel like a lot of pressure sometimes. But I also think that like I see for myself and my personality, like, I'll be really honest, like, I don't hate that spotlight. Like I kind of like having that opportunity where people are paying attention to me and I do get to like, challenge what they think they know and use it as an opportunity to like, educate and actually that, as you said, like I've worked in a lot of different places, but actually like at that same agency that I was working at.

One of the things that I did was I asked our HR team, it was like the first year that I was there. Ramadan was coming up. And so that's like a month of fasting. And during that time I asked my manager for a couple of different accommodations like, Hey, can I amend my working hours and stuff like that based on things like fasting, and they were very flexible about it. And one thing that I thought would be cool would be if I ran something at the organization similar to what I ran in college, which was called a fastathon. So I invited people at our company to fast with me for one day, it was amazing, like 20 people signed up out of like, 100 person agency, which is like 120 people at the agency, which was like, pretty significant. And I just told them what to do. And they were like, what I did is like, they told me where they live, I looked up exactly what their fasting hours were. And then we have a midday zoom. And we talked about, like, the experience. And then we had a little session after where people just talked about what they learned. And it was really cool, honestly, you know, and I think if I very honestly didn't wear a hijab and wasn't always so publicly noticeable. I don't know if I would have had the confidence over a decade of working to like, actually do things like that, until like, lean into the opportunity that is sometimes just like put on me.

Analiza: Arshiya I'm connecting to that because there is a choice, right, like, knowing that people will pay attention. And frankly, it's not just a job being Muslim. It's being a woman of color. Yeah, in these spaces that are white male dominated, and figuring out who will I be, who do I choose to be? I hear you saying, I'm going to see that because I'm used to being in those spaces and being one and only few. And only I'm going to empower myself to do something that matters to me this fast. Athan is such a beautiful idea, because it's in a community, it's so congruent with who I believe you are, someone who wants to connect with others, bring community along, share culture, and at the same time, not shrink. Because there is the majority, there is a culture, and we are often taught to assimilate. And the stories I'm going to tell are going to be stories that basically put me in situations that you're used to. So I still love this, because it's an inspirational way that we can be ourselves. But we have to choose, right, we keep choosing and we can invite and people will take us up on the invitation if we provide it.

Arshiya: Yeah, exactly. And it is a lot of work. You know, it's not like I got paid to organize 20 people and teach them how to do this stuff, right. But I think that like when people have these conversations, it's really not validating when people of color do a disproportionate amount of work to educate non people of color about our lived experiences. And I don't think that's fair, I don't you know, that being said, like, we also benefit from that, right, like, we, our parents chose to organize it and choose but like our parents moved to this country, they lived in this country like, and when I look at my parents, like, my parents are South Asians, like more South Asian, and like, they moved here, and their whole philosophy in life was like, work hard head down, pay your taxes don't get in trouble, like, you know, it was very, like, straight at you know, and I think for us, like we, our greatest privileges are to, like, not be like that, you know, and it'd be to take up space and spread our arms and like, do some of the things that our parents didn't have the privilege or luxury to do, because they just had different, they had to do a different to, like, rebuild a whole life here.

You know, and my parents, it's funny, like, they don't always understand, you know, like, I told you like my dad's reaction of like, hijab or whatever. And it's, you know, at the end of the day, like, they come around, but the reason they say these things to me is because they worry like, they're Asian parents, and they feel like they upgraded their whole life, like left political uncertainty and economic uncertainty to like, rebuild an entire life here. And I think they've said to me, they're like, sometimes it feels like you make your life harder. You know, for me, I'm like, I even look at my siblings who have like a lot more, you know, like, they kind of have like, a lot, much more like straight edge path. But I'm like, I don't know, I don't feel like it's harder. I feel like I make my life more interesting and fulfilling. And each time that I choose to lean into my identity and my story for people and in front of people. I feel more fulfilled, and I'm living more into my values.

Analiza: One of the themes that I heard that resonated with Arshiya is this immigrant story. Our parents reasons for leaving, were their countries and moving to the United States, you know, hoping for this American dream, you know, winning the Golden Ticket, and it is both incredible and also puts pressure on us that we live the chapters that they've set out for us and I think for both you and me, we're in Not following traditional paths. And it takes courage, and also some resolution to not follow. Because I don't know your culture, but mine is that you follow your parents and you are like them. And it's this piece that I personally went back to the Philippines and I lived in my dad's house with when he was young, and I spent almost a year there, trying to understand why they kept saying Analiza, You're so lucky to be here, you know, we sacrificed so much. I grew up with nothing, you know, we didn't even have a pair of shoes. Maybe I got one for Christmas each year. And I was like, okay, exactly. What a Lunchable? Give me you know, on TV, it is interesting, because having spent that time there, I better understand. And I think this piece of empathy, like I really couldn't understand until for me, I got to live there. And it's that being No, I know that I didn't walk in their shoes, but at least being close to their stories and learning from my family, I understand the huge sacrifice that they made. And also, I'm choosing differently.

And so if you're fastathon on having people have empathy, that 's a 30 day challenge. They're doing one. And it's like a very committed choice that people I think, don't know that even in myself included. So I love that so much.

And I'm going to talk about Arshiya just in terms of storytelling itself, because it feels overwhelming, right? Like, I remember when I first wrote my first book, I was like, I just know that I want brown people for my children. It doesn't always have to be blonde, blue eyed Jessica and Elizabeth, you know, from the Sweet Valley High series, like they can write with a hijab, like it could be cool. And so that was the reason why I started to write. And I wanted to talk about this, because it's not like I had, for me personally, like a formula, right? I just knew that I wanted my kids to be able to find inspiration in people who look like them. And so I'm curious, because we know stories are powerful. And yes, it probably feels for many, hard, hard to tell a good story. There's pressure, like I gotta tell a good story. My story's got to have a cliffhanger. Like, it just feels like Yeah. And so someone who trains others, and has community groups where people are able to share, and I'm sure that not everyone's going to be the author, right off the bat, how do you set up a structure? How do you set up a safe way in which people can engage no matter what their level is in telling a story,

Arshiya: Everything is a story. And we also tell ourselves stories, you know, and for me, the origin of this organization was twofold. One, I was living in New York for almost 13 years. And I decided to move to Los Angeles for work, I could have been flexible, but primarily for work. And I moved to the end of 2019. So as everyone knows, like three months later, it was COVID. I had like, barely met anyone, I just got an apartment and like January and settled in and all this stuff. And then these two years were super hard, they were very, very difficult. Because I didn't have anywhere to go to meet people I had, like two friends like that I got connected to and when like post vaccine, everything kind of started to open up, I started to go to events. So I think one of the benefits of being from communities like ours, I don't know if this resonates but as a Muslim, South Asian person, we have like, very tight knit communities, even in our generation. So like, it's not always that difficult to get plugged in to be like, Oh, my friend of a friend lives in this place. And I'll connect you to them. And I started kind of chasing those connections and trying to build up community. And it just wasn't happening the way that I wanted it to. I felt like the culture here, like in LA, was really different. Like it was way harder to follow up. And I don't know, it just felt really much harder than I thought it would be in what it was like on the East Coast. And so every time I would go to places and I would like to meet somebody, I'd be like, Oh my god, let's hang out. I need friends.

And it was so funny. Because one time I literally went to an event. And like somebody was like, You're the girl who says she needs friends. And I was like, Yeah, that's me. And so basically, that's how I made a couple of friends. And I was still really craving this like a bigger community and with these couple of friends. I started going to these storytelling events that were hosted by the moth. So I don't know if you've heard of the moth, but it's an NPR based nerd, like sponsored. I don't know if I'm using the right terminology, but it's like a podcast and they do live storytelling events all over the country. And I used to go to New York and I love them. And so I started going to them in LA and I remember the first event that I went to was in LA and it was so much fun. The third crowd was this really cool outdoor space and the crowd was so diverse from a gender perspective, ethnicity perspective, like everything you know.

And I remember being like, I remember being like, wow, this is such a cool space like a cool audience. And the way that the moth runs, there's events, runs their events as they do like a theme. And then they pick out like 10 storytellers out of a hat. And I remember that first day that I went, there were 10 storytellers. And nine of them were white males. And there was one woman of color who went up and told a story. And the thing that really struck me about that was that the moth the way they were in their events, there's no selection bias, people put their own names in the bag to be picked. And I remember the host even was like, Oh, we're cutting it close. Like we only have 11 names, and we're gonna pick 10 names out of the 11. And so I was like, wow, like, why are there so many diverse people in the audience, but people like me are literally not putting our own names, like in the ring, you know, until a lot of times when we talk about representation, we talk about, like, people like us don't get chosen.

But we never talk about people like we don't, you don't sometimes choose ourselves and put ourselves in there because we don't believe our stories are worth telling or worth hearing or taking up space. And let me tell you, I understand storytellers, like a lot of them were not great prepared stories, like, you know, there were a couple of them that were like gems, but a lot of those people like they just took a chance on themselves, you know. And I remember I went to two more events. And this idea sort of brewing, it was kind of the same thing. You know, the majority of the church hours were white, and male. So cut going back, like where I started, which is like, I'm the girl who needs friends.

And I'm also like, noticing this very big gap of like, people of color telling their own stories. And so I told my two friends, literally my two friends that I had, and I was like, you know, I keep saying I want friends. Like, what if you guys helped me? Like, we do this thing where we kind of run something similar to the moth, but we cap it because the other thing about the moth is like it's to interview. And at that point, I've been working in leadership and facilitation for several years. And I was like, what if I come up with like little basically, like facilitated activities, so that people can like, meet each other, and also hear stories. And my friends were like, You're crazy. But like, okay, whatever, like, let's do it. So literally two weeks later, I like rented it out, I found a coffee shop that I really liked. And I asked them, if we could rent it out, we rented it out, we made an Instagram page. And we just like made some flyers and like me and my two friends, we literally just started blasting out to everybody we knew. And the thing that was really important was that the two of them were from here and like from like, I knew like three people at that point, you know, so but that's how it started. And it was so cool.

Analiza, because that first event was so wonderful. We had like 25 people, we've kept it at like 30. So we have like 25 people there. And we spent the first half literally doing like, basically adult icebreakers. And like pairing people off in small groups, you know, in pairs of two and then in groups of like five. And literally within the first hour, everybody had met each other and knew each other's name. And then we were really nervous because we only had two people who had signed up to tell stories. And in that event, people felt so comfortable. We ended up having eight storytellers. And it was so awesome. Because I think part of the thing about going back to like storytelling as a thing is like it feels really scary because you think you don't know the audience. But like, for us, what we realized is like, it really helped to get people to warm up and like, then when they knew everybody in the room, they were like, Oh, this is just me like talking to my friends for a couple of minutes.

Analiza: I want to underline and underscore a few things you said. One is that when we speak into the universe, what we want, there's so much that the universe then speaks back, and you being willing to speak it not just to the universe, but to others, like just hyper accelerated you having this vision, so I want to first call that out is that you named it and leaned into it as uncomfortable it was it was me that happened. So first is like, can we just name it? And then second, this idea that as people of color as with these marginalized groups, we don't put ourselves even in the race. Because often it's like the world's terrible, stinks. How unfortunate and those things are, you know, have a lot of credibility, and how can we even be in the race if we're not even at like, signed up? I want to just name that point. And the third thing is this concept of when we enlist the community is so much easier, like everything is so much easier. So I want to name those things. And so I appreciate this, like the beautiful story as well.

And I wanted to pivot us to the art of storytelling, and I'm going to give a framework that I use even when I support my clients With interviews, and how to tell a story concisely, but also not be so wrapped in our heads. And so I want, I'd love for you to just come back to me and say, Oh, here's how I would tweak that, or actually, I have a different philosophy. And often. So when I think about stories, I think about three things.

One is, think about moments in your life where you had something, if you're like, if I think about my childhood, there are three moments that stuck out to me, or even growing up three moments, a young adulthood, three moments even now, like, when I look back at the last year, like what was the moment that was like scary, exciting, whatever the thing is, and we can go off that moment. And usually, from even that experience, there's like a time when you're on the cusp of something that felt risky, that felt like, Oh, I'm going to do something like hard. And the reason we're going to do something hard is we really wanted something. And so you can go with that idea. But there's these moments, or the moment could be a moment you failed, or moment you experience something really, really hard. So in any case, we're going to pick a moment, when we find that moment, we're going to bring our audience in. So find the moment don't get all wrapped up like I'm so there's so many ways to pick one, right? Pick one moment that meant something to you.

And then that's when you second part is you just bring us through like the exact time of not talking to me through your entire life. Yeah, like, what was happening at that exact moment, I was the girl with no friends, I had moved. And I was so desperate, that I actually started saying that out loud. And I found my way to friends. And I said to them out loud, like what about what if, and from there, we rented it out, I didn't even see it. Like there was a coffee shop, we rented out this room, you know, there were still only two people who signed up. And yet with these exercises that I led, we got to this point. So I'm gonna say that, like, bring us that moment, and actually have us visualize what happened in a few sentences, right.

And the third part I would say is the shitty first draft, you said that. And often, like, I don't know how many things you've done, where it was fully planned out. For me, I have some ideas. I have a general plan, but I moved to action. And that is probably what separates me from many others. I think it's not that I'm more brilliant or have the best ideas or any of these other things. It's just that I actually moved to action. So in this case, just say it, speak it. Shitty first draft is better than no draft. And we get better, the more we have shitty first drafts.

So the three things are, you know, find the moment actually. The second point is to bring us into that moment and give us like the visuals, what did you see, feel like, bring smell like that. And then third is just go see the first draft and make it fun. Right? So those are the three things I would say. But I'm curious, especially as someone who also tells a lot of stories and helps facilitate groups, how would you tweak that or even just completely change it.

Arshiya: I remember at one of our events it was like our third event. And this guy went up there. And it was so funny, because he was like, Hi, my name is blah, blah, blah, and I work at blah, blah, blah. And my goal in life is blah, blah, blah. It was very adorable, but like he didn't tell a story he kind of just told us about his life. And I remember thinking to myself, like, this is weird. Like, we can't just expect people to come with stories, I think as people of color, especially we are so not focused on the moment, in a way we want. Like we are always trying to prove ourselves, you know, like we bring our titles and our jobs, like kind of going back to that immigrant story. Like I really think it is that like we you know, our job and our education and this and that is like these are the values that our parents like really ingrained with us like, this is how you're going to make it in this country. It's you know, and the story our parents told us and so even this guy, like he didn't tell a story, he kind of weaved his, like, told us his resume. And it was just like I literally like, I can't even tell you what it was about, you know, like at this point. And I think that is the beauty of it, which as you said, it's like pick any moment for me not to pat myself on the back. But it's like it when we first started speaking today, like I told you about a moment that like my dad told me, I'm never gonna get a job because I have a nose ring or I wear a head job. And like, I would imagine that that probably resonates with other immigrant kids. You know, kids of immigrants have like, I don't really remember what our she was even talking about. But like, I remember that, like my mom also said something like that to me or my aunt or my family, right or whatever. So like zeroing in on one specific moment is the beginning of a story. To your point.

Analiza: I want to tell a story because it's so relates that Arshiya and this art of storytelling when I first learned to public speak, because I think it's a skill, right? You have to name that we just don't are not birth and all the size. I'm a toddler I can see. It's a journey. Right. And I want to tell you and admit that when I was in my 20s I was in Toastmasters, you do like a five minute speech, it's a whole like nonprofit organization that's all about helping you speak. And I was really into it, I would go to weekly meetings, I would do my prepared speeches. And it would be like a four minute speech, not even that long. And like even a really simple story. In my 20s, I was so OCD about how to tell the story, how to give a speech, I would literally wake up at four in the morning and practice my four minute speech. I mean, in the mirror, practicing it, like making sure I knew where I was tracking time, what I was, how I was moving my hands where I was looking in the room, he was just like, so stilted. Yeah, it sounded robotic. Like I would do this speech, right. And I would get this feedback. That was like, good job. Maybe, like maybe more natural. Seems like you've worked really hard, which was like, nice, good way of saying maybe you prepared too much. Yeah. And I would hear it and I was like, What am I keep getting back, like, too hard? Like, why can't I just had a bad thing? Yeah, like immigrants like we should do? Well, we worked hard. You should get an A right. Yeah, exactly. And so it took me a while for me to learn to trust myself, that actually when I don't prepare that much, I'm better off. And I might have an idea of what I'll say. But just to trust myself. And trust that whatever I share will have value. And if it doesn't, then they're probably not my people. Yeah. But that's real comfort. Right? I used to be like, here's my house. Yeah. Are you about? Let me tell you my job, my resume and my background. Now I have, Am I worthy,

Arshiya: Public speaking is a skill too right. So the more you do it, you know, like, here you are maybe 10 years later, or something. And like, you're a lot more comfortable with all of that, you know, and I think like now, so I do run potluck stories. And that's an organization I run with friends, and we do monthly events here in Southern California. But for my full time, job and life I do, I run a coaching and facilitation business. And so I work with leaders, I work specifically with people of color in organizations that are looking to create a better life for themselves. And hence, organization. And something that comes up so much in my coaching is that my clients always ask me like, because a lot of what I work with them is actually on narrative, right on stories, like at work, because so much of leadership at organizations is communication and people management, right? You know, and it's the same thing with stories, like stories prepare you to tell the same story, but like in different ways to talk about the same moment from different perspectives, and then that spills over to every part of your life. So talking about picking the moment like for example, I was at the beach, at the end of the summer, actually, I got in a really bad car accident. And somehow I like this happened like in August, and I literally walked away like I had no injuries. My car was completely totaled, it flipped over, I climbed out through the sunroof, like it was a whole thing. And I have now actually told this story in different ways. And I remember the night that I came back.

This happened while a lot of my extended family was visiting Dubai from different parts of the US. And I came home and like, you know, I had told my parents a version of the story. And then I came home and I remember I was like sitting on the floor. And I was hugging my mom. And then slowly like all of the women in my family started coming. And we were literally sitting behind the sofa. Because there's no people in the house. We just wanted a moment with my mom to hug my mom because I was like in shock. And I remember I started telling them about like a little random moment in the accident where like when the car flipped over and I climbed out of the car.

These like firefighters came over and they were like, Okay, do you need to get anything out of the car immediately. They were like, maybe clean out the glove compartment. And so I climb into the car, and I grab my laptop and then I open the glove compartment and like 20 pads, like lie out of the glove compartment. And I started laughing at myself because it was like three firefighters and policemen. I'm digging through like, my glove compartment. And like, Pads, I was like, why are there so many pads in here. And all the women in my family are just like, This is so relatable, like, Oh my God, and I was like, It's 2024 like, who hears about pads? But at the same time? I was like, why are there so many pads? I think a good example of like, I was in a car accident, right? And I can tell this really serious version of a car accident. And I can tell how it was harrowing and scary and like, what the airbags felt like and did it out you know, or I can tell the story about how like, I'm fine and like there's 20 paths popping out. It's like comical and like, you know what I mean, right?

Analiza: We get to choose. Are we the damsel in distress? Are we the victim? Or are we the person who discovers that they have tons of pads and at the moment so I so love the choice there are Shia and I also appreciate that this skill we're talking about is not just for I'm going to give a story at the potluck stories right this is actually a life skill. This is a work skill and he can get better at the skill that allows us to communicate, allows us to build empathy, allows us to have a better life and helps our organizations so love the work you do Arshiya let us move to lightning round questions. Are you ready?

Arshiya: Yes.

Analiza: Chocolate or vanilla?

Arshiya: Chocolate.

Analiza: Cooking or takeout?

Arshiya: Cooking

Analiza: Climb a mountain or jump from a plane?

Arshiya: Climb a mountain.

Analiza: Have you ever worn socks with sandals?

Arshiya: Unfortunately, yes.

Analiza: How would you rate your karaoke skills on a scale of 1 to 10? 10 being Mariah Carey?

Arshiya: Oh, that's the high bar like 1.5?

Analiza: What's the recent book you read?

Arshiya: I'll give you 200 Years War on Palestine, and the Disease to Please.

Analiza: What's a favorite way to practice self care?

Arshiya: Organizing my closet

Analiza: What's a good professional development you've done?

Arshiya: I did a class through IDEO called the insights for innovation, and I loved it. Incredible.

Analiza: What's your definition of a Boss Mama?

Arshiya: Somebody who takes action and keeps trying again

Analiza: What advice would you give your younger self?

Arshiya: It's going to be okay. And no career choice specifically, is forever. You can always change your life when you want to.

Analiza: And then where can we find you like LinkedIn anywhere else?

Arshiya: Yes, you can find me on LinkedIn. Arshiya Kherani, you can find me on Instagram @Arshiya_Kherani And through there, you can sign up for my newsletter, which I send out every two weeks with growth and leadership tips. It's kind of like an op ed and that pinning piece by myself and then linking to any cool upcoming events and other thought leaders that I think everyone should follow.

Analiza: And then last question, do you have a final ask recommendation or parting thoughts to share?

Arshiya: My ask would be if you are in Southern California, come to a Potluck Stories event, either share a story or just come and be a part of our community. And if you're not, but you want to continue to work on your leadership and education, I would love to connect with you. So I would love to jump on a call. You can book a discovery call with me on my website. But, you know, I'd love to obviously work with people on their leadership. But I think if any part of this story that we've talked about today has resonated with you I would really just love to connect and get to know you.

Analiza: Wonderful, Arshiya, it's been a pleasure. Thanks so much for sharing all these stories, and also wisdom.

Arshiya: Thank you for having me.

Analiza: Thank you so much for carving out time to hear today's podcast. Three things before you go. First, if you found it helpful, please leave a five star review. Second, I'm excited to share that we have a new book. It's called the Myths of Success: A Woman of Color’s Guide to Leadership. It's based on the lessons learned of many women of color leaders, including those on this podcast. And you can get a free chapter at analizawolf.com/freechapter. Lastly, we have a Woman of Color Rise program and it's a six feet online cohort program this spring. You’ll build relationships with an intimate group of other women of color leaders, and you'll also walk away with a career growth roadmap and strategies to grow and career. Check out analizawolf.com/course for more information. Early bird pricing ends February 9. Thank you so very much.